Continued abuse

Dear Poppy,

I too am being badly mistreated by my two legs.  As you can see, I have a slight growing problem. I just can't seem to stop it. My two legs have threatened to withhold food.  I see now that it runs in their family, although my two legs have notbfollowed through on that threat.  My problem is that I no longer fit in my bed. My mummy says, tough luck cuz she's not buying me a bigger one.  She says that my puppaw is right and that I need to go out and earn a living so I can buy my own bed.   I have been practicing my special skills, shredding in particular.  But this only seems to get me into even  more trouble.  How am I supposed to get a job, if I don't get to practice?  I overheard my mummy telling puppaw that they are going to perform a special test on me to see where I come from and how big I will get.  But, she says it doesn't matter, cuz I won't be getting a new bed even if some tiny part of me is great dane...whatever that is.  Other than being forced to sleep with half my body on the cold, hard floor, it's been a perfectly enjoyable weekend. I hope yours was, too.  Please tell grandpaw to talk to my puppaw, or to send some money quickly so I can replace that plate that I broke.  I feel that once that debt is paid, all be well again.

Licks and licks