Dr Mugsy

Dear Dr Mugsy

Well i was going to kow tow to you expertise, but i did have a few concerns:-
1. did you really think they were going to fall for the bells for ever - that was like them falling for my woofing for ever - and look what happened to me
2. have you not heard what goes around comes around

i know you love your puppaw - but who gives the best cuddles and treats - bet iTs Mummy who does the best cooking (its Granny not Grandpaw) so i wouldn't kick her out of bed) - ALWAYS THINK OF YOU TUM

PS. treats after meals - best trick is to go sit in front of the dishwasher (two legs hate washing up) on  your back legs, waving front paws in the air (two legs think it is cute) its called begging, very bad at table, but good by dishwasher, dishes will appear in front for licking - my mummy doesn't fall for it - but she is very strict at the moment, but i bet your puppaw would do - my mummy says he hates washing up - anything to get you to move from the dishwasher -

alternative - pick up your food bowl and carry it round hopefully - two legs always think thats cute - but make sure its not the waterbowl - otherwise you get "STOP THAT - YOU ARE MAKING A MESS"

My days in bed appear to be numbered - i am not sure how many are left - i tried to be queen yesterday - it didn't work well - we went out for our night time end of day pee walk - only it rubbish night so there was no time to pee - there were too many bags to sniff - and anyway Mummy was on punishment - she had desserted me - and you appeared to be getting away with mischief - so i thought i should (in another words i am in the doghouse and it YOUR FAULT - its never mine!!!!!)  - she warned me - but after 50 minutes of walking we went home.

Well at one am - i woke up and i was desperate - now we know going inside is bad very bad - so i woofed - i had to wake her - i really needed to go - SO BADLY - she got up and out we went - but i had started woofing - and it was so exciting - i am not normally allowed out at that time - and it was great - lots of shadows and the bags were still out so great smells - food and all sorts- grumpy mummy was a downer - and it was cold - but she couldn't shout - she didn't want the neighbours to be able to identify her!!!!! so i could block her tellings off out - any way i peed and pood - and then we went home, tried to get a good night kiss, nothing, got up this morning - was a bit tired, no reaction, just grump, talked all the way down  the street, at the top of the voice, just got to "shut up" and tapped on the nose - outrageous - i mean i know silence the morning - people are sleeping - but i wasn't - but to be ignored and punished - for fun.

To day training on being left alone in the crate - actually i don't really mind it - the treats that go with it are so good - but you tell me two legs are TRAINABLE  i listen, they aren't, i get punished and then you tell me they aren't and all you get is you puppaw laughing at you and people buying you beds and toys - we have a carepackage to send - i am not letting my mummy see you CINDERELLA posting.  its me POOR ABUSED poppy who is CINDERELLA

love and licks from the one who is going to ignore the advice from Dr Mugsy in the future
poppy

Your messages of support yesterday

Thanks for your  message of support yesterday - i tried eating mummy's big toe out of hunger at one o'clock this morning no food yesterday and she had the cheek to say it was my fault - how I ask you when i went to eat there was nothing there !!!!!! the big toe idea - its your fault - you said your PaPaws tasted good - was not wells received - but it was fun

to my tail of woe
Food - yesterday

Breakfast - put down - i had sniffed it -it smelled great - but not at the eating stage yet - and she made a big point of taking it out side and putting it where the birds but not I  could get at it - and then they ate it in front of me - i made sure i chased them at lunch but that didn't help either

Dinner - again put down, it smelt nice but not ready to eat, i was just thinking about it and she said times up and it went in the bin - not the one i could at but the one with the lid

Today
Breakfast - i ate half of it before it was ready - it was so early i could barely keep my eyes open but i could n't risk waiting and i was so hungry - it was horribly not ready for eating - still crunchy - left the rest while i went to catch up on some sleep - and it was gone again.  the good news is i am having 3 meals a day under the new regime so i only have to wait until lunch and the food is cooked 30 minutes before service so hopefully it will be more ready for eating by the time i get it -

Manners - if i hear that word once more i am going to puke - i must have heard it a 1000 times yesterday - Poppy mummy through the door first - poppy wait, poppy come poppy manners oooh!!! - today when we got to Granny and Grandpaw's i got clever, i am not having them tainted, by this stupid discipline, i charged through the door, before she could say wait (too busy with the alarm ha ha!!!) up the stairs and onto their bed - they were great - proper reception - kisses, cuddles the works - no mention of MANNERS - mummy brought tea up for Granny but by then i was esconced.

I am supposed to email them next explaining the new regime - but i am not - providing they know about lunch - Mummy told them - i heard her - lunch is in my sling - it needs moistening 30 mins before serving (any time between 12 and 2) depending on my play date with Woody and Charmian and it goes down for only 30 mins before removal (which i do not agree to!!!!) that is all they need to know as far as i am concerned.

I am happy to receive as many treats as i can get - limiting me to only two a day - and only if i am being left alone (with the command that they will be back in a minute!!!) is pointless

Need to be invited onto laps for cuddles - waste of time - i am a lap dog - it is my right to visit laps - otherwise i would not be a lap dog

Moving out of the way for two legs - pointless - they can go round me easily enough

Letting two legs go first through doors, park gates etc - again why - i am so much quicker that two legs - its why we have four

Lots of love

Poppy

ps tell your Mummy and PawPa that you need a pet Passport - if this keeps up you have to come to England - i need someone with bigger teeth than me to eat the trainer - it would take me years - but you only minutes - i met Cody in the park today - she looks like you - is about 8 and has been trained by him always - she says HE is ok - but big into two legs being in CONTROL and DISCIPLINE and DOGS being treated as DOGS (have you heard of anything so DUMB) said she would help teach him REALITY but needs help from a brave youngster - and thats YOU

pps here is what i sent to Grandpaw ...

Dear Darling Grandpaw

HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Something awful us happening.  Ever since that trainer came, my Mummy is being horrible to  me.  She doesn’t give me so many cuddles and yesterday she gave my breakfast and most of my supper to the birds.  I was just thinking whether I would eat it or not and suddenly it wasn’t there.  I’m reely hungry and she doesn’t even give me extra treats.  I don’t know if I will last until I get home.

Also she keeps shouting manners to me as if I was not the most important person around.

I think I need to be rescued.  PLees, plees rescue me.  I promise I will be a good girl when I am with you and will always bring the ball back when you throw it.

What am i going to do?  I am a princess and I being treated like a bad dog.  I am never bad because I am perfect.

Help, help, help!

Poppy

Woe is Me

Dear Poppy,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.  It seems like rubbish to me that this persecution would take so long.  I think it is because your Mummy thinks the trainer is good looking and wants to spend more time with him.  I think you should bite his ankles, and your Mummy's as well.  I would say bite them in other places but I know you are jolly little.  I bite my two-legs all over to remind them who is really the boss.

I must say that was very clever of you to cross the road but do rather agree that it was a bit foolish.  My two-legs don't let off of the lead except in places that are fenced because they don't really trust me.  I am not sure why as I am terribly trustworthy.  It would be awfully sad if you get crushed by one of those big red London buses.  We have some here in DC and Puppaw points them out as the type of bus that you take every day.  I am quite jealous as they are just tourist buses and Puppaw says that as I am a resident I am not allowed on them. I think he is lying and just thinks its too expensive.

I don't know how you can go without food.  That just seems awful.  When I first moved in with Mummy and Pawpa I would wolf my food down.  I was quite scared at the pound that others would eat it.  Now I sit and wait until I am told and then eat at a reasonable pace.  I even sometimes leave a bit for a later snack.

We had another winter storm last night.  Some snow but also icy rain.  I don't think you get icy rain in London.  It sticks to the ground in icy sheets.  I love it!  I slip and slide and lick it all the way down the street.  The two-legs however are not so keen, especially when they slide.  Mummy was super unhappy on the way to the park this morning.

On a happier note, I am also going to do agility training in the spring and learn to swim.  It will be fun to do it together.

Keep your chin up with the behaviour training.  I am sure you will do fantastically and graduate in a few weeks.

Love and licks

Mugsy

Woe is Me

Dear Mugsy

The Trainer came yesterday - it was not as you described.

He came, Mummy said he was good looking, i tried looking pathetic, being very good - but that didn't work, no welcome, no cuddles, he ignored me and talked to Mummy - and then said i was attention seeking - of course i am - i am a princess. 

I decided to try to make myself very small - maybe they would forget me - and i hid under Mummy's desk - i was very good not a sound - the next thing i knew there was a list of rules being agreed - ITS A DISASTER -
no cuddly toys at the office - only a puppy kong (i am too little for a real one - you have to weigh more thank 5 kilos or 10 lbs - and i only weigh 6lbs) and a ball
No socks smelling of Mummy, only my bed and one blanket (no towels, no wrap of mummies that i stole and love etc)
Food to be eaten within 30 minutes of being served - or it is to be removed and fed to the birds - and i am to go hungry - breakfast has just been removed and now i am starving - and she (the awful Mummy) says nothing till tea time - thats hours away)
I have to be given a secure space (this is going to be a soft crate) or  a sherpa bag - which at least is very expensive so is painful for mummy - GOOD - it is going to take two months to train me - AND I AM GOING TO MAKE MUMMY's LIFE TOUGH OVER THAT TIME - this is not going to be easy - ALTHOUGH LAST NIGHT I HAD TREATS IN IT AND IT WASN'T BAD - BUT DON'T LET THE TWO LEGS KNOW - i don't want to be too easy
no more sleeping on the bed - in a crate - but not until after the Geneva trip.
Agility Training in Spring (actually i like the sound of that!!!)
Last night i acted really depressed - really pathetic - you should have seen me - mummy was sad watching me - and i thought she might relent - but she stuck to it - and this morning - i woke up happy - i always do - and she gave lovely cuddles, but the morning treat went straight in the Sherpa bag and in I went to eat it - guess i am a treat tart as well - but i got my own back - i was very bad in the park - it was cold and i wanted to show Mummy how intelligent i was so i left by the open gate and crossed the road and went to the office - boy was she angry - she got me put me on the leash, took me back to the park and screamed at me - it was so embarrassing - guess i wont be trying that one again - oh and we are back to she has to go through doors first again - i have to remember my place (i keep telling her - i am the queen - but she doesn't listen)

Have to go now, more short lessons on - i have to behave when i am alone - i don't see why - but apparently i will learn - we will see

love and licks

from a sad and depressed - but still determined to win

Poppy

think of me - fighting for Dogs worldwide

The Trainer

Dear Cousin Poppy,
You needn't worry about the trainer. It is loads of fun. Mostly you get treats for doing stuff that you would normally do anyway. The trick is to pretend not to know at first. You know, give them the "you are speaking to me in Chinese look." Then pretend that you have had a eureka moment and do what they asked. I promise, you will get lots of yummy treats. I do understand your frustration at having your mummy disappear, but if there are other people around, what's the problem? When my two legs are gone, I worry too. In the morning, I follow my mummy around everywhere, because I know she will be leaving me in the crate all day. You have such a good life, going to see grandpaw instead of being stuck in a crate. Anway, if there are other people around, I hardly notice that my two legs are gone. I know this bothers them, especially puppaw. He wants me to miss him terribly, and I do, I do, but I have to pretent that if he leaves me too many times, I might just forget him. So far, this strategy has worked, as I've only been left once. I had a great time...don't tell my puppaw.
There was white rain falling from the sky last night. I wore my new barbour coat. Puppaw had it fixed for me. Boy did I look good! And it kept the wet white rain off of me, but I still got to enjoy it.
All of the visitors have left now. Abu has gone back to Spain and I have no hope of getting another one of those yummy meatballs in my mouth anytime soon. She says it is sad that my two legs don't give me yummy things to eat like they do in Spain to my other cousin Maisy.  My mum gives me horrible things when she is cooking. She must be a horrible cook. She gives me celery and tomatoes. The tomatoes are fun because they are like a tiny little ball to play with, but when I bite in too hard, yuck. I don't understand how there can be such yummy smells coming from the kitchen and only horrible things to eat. Oh, and I still don't know what gravy is. But if you are getting some, it must be good.
I am Ceasar destroyer of all things soft and cuddly, but sometimes I feel just like Cinderella.
Lots of licks lucky cousin from "Ceasear I only have two toys left to destroy so please send more."

The Trainer

Dear Poppy,

Poor you.  I too sometimes suffer from separation anxiety, my solution is to make my two-legs suffer by emptying the trash bins all over the floor and chewing everything.  I find the bathroom one gets the best reaction.

I hope that you had a good day with Grandpaw.  I miss him.  You are so little I am sure that you can sit on his belly and snooze.  Does he sneak you food?  My two-legs are convinced he sneaked me food, but I am not telling.

It has been rather exciting here.  On Tuesday we had white rain and I spent the whole trip home from the park hopping to catch it in my mouth.  Do you do that as well?  Then the next day, Puppaw kicked the snow so that I could catch it. I really like walking on the ice.  Puppaw however is not so keen.  First off he is rather worried I will pull him and he will slip and fall and break something.  Secondly, he is a tad worried I will slip with my long legs and hurt myself as apparently I am quite funny on the ice.  Personally I think his priorities are backwards.

I did get some new toys on Saturday.  Mummy said they were on sale as they were Christmas toys.  I say "were" because it took maybe 15 minutes for me to destroy them.  Serves Mummy and Pawpaw right for getting me cheap toys.

I have some exciting news.  Yesterday I got to wear my Barbour for the first time as Pawpaw finally had the strap adjusted.  I look dead British, and rather demure.  I bit at it at first but them realised I was getting lots of appreciative glances and so walked home with my head held high.  I now cannot wait for the next white rain.

Love and licks,

Mugs

The Trainer

Dear Mugsy

Help - apparently discipline remains on the agenda - i was bad yesterday - really bad - i was a bit bored at the office - everyone was working - so i screamed - it was fun - for me anyway - they told me to be quiet (the two legs) but it wasn't mummy  - so i ignored them (she does!!!).  Apparently she was in a meeting and was not very happy when she had to come out to deal with me - big trouble!!!!

But it gets worse - i got bored again later and did it again so now on monday - the DOG trainer is coming to the office - he says he can fix me of my SEPARATION ANXIETY in an hour - I don't like the sound of this - do you think its going to hurt - I will let you know - today i am banished from the office - i am not sure it is a punishment i have Grandpaw for the day - so i reckon its fun - but not looking forward to Monday - and Mummy thinks i forgot but Saturday i got the Groomers and i am having my teeth cleaned - so i am not going to have much fun for the next few days - might change my name to

Poor Princess -Picked on by her Horrible Two Legs - i don't like this Discipline stuff - i prefer SPOILED -

hows life with you - do you ( oh CEASAR!!!!!) have any toys left!!!!!

love and licks

Poppy - soon to be INDEPENDENT POPPY

Graduation

Wow top of the class. I am taking my two legs graduation present shopping. No one is cleverer than me but you are sure more obedient.
Focus. You told me before about your two legs being into that. It sounds very american. I am only focussed on getting attention and being spoilt. I seem to do just fine. So do you as a self confessed traet tart
Sit. Of course for treats
Down. If I really want to. But I am so small two legs can't really tell if I am sitting or lying
Stay - don't have the ability to concentrate
Come - for a treat of course
3eturn if called - alwa)s if I know the person otherwise back on the leash and I would rather be free!!!!
Go to my bed - never (o mummies yes to granny and grand paws yes mine never unless there's a really good treat in it like a piggy ear or I am really tired but never on principal if I am told to!!!!! You are too good. What happened to Lucy
Wait (which sounds like a combination of your stay and leave it). I get at breakfast and tea but granny and grandpaw don't know it so don't tell them they just put food out and you can eat straight away. Tow legs have weird ideas about manners no growling on tubes, even when the other two legs is wearing flourescent yellow and smells real bad wait to go through the door until they have gone first why? We are so much quicker. But life is easier if you let them think you live by there rules
I don't know touch that sounds like play and treats for fun. I want to learn that one. Have you learnt heal and pavement (might be sidewalk for you) yet
Ps forget as many as you can you just need your name sit and down
And look great and point at the top of the class sing. Two legs love bragging rights especially grandparents. Hope you have told them they will need to bore all there friends
Love and licks
Poppy
Ps think of me. Tomorrow I go to the groomers I have instructed not to much off no more than half an inch. Hope he listens