The Trainer

Dear Cousin Poppy,
You needn't worry about the trainer. It is loads of fun. Mostly you get treats for doing stuff that you would normally do anyway. The trick is to pretend not to know at first. You know, give them the "you are speaking to me in Chinese look." Then pretend that you have had a eureka moment and do what they asked. I promise, you will get lots of yummy treats. I do understand your frustration at having your mummy disappear, but if there are other people around, what's the problem? When my two legs are gone, I worry too. In the morning, I follow my mummy around everywhere, because I know she will be leaving me in the crate all day. You have such a good life, going to see grandpaw instead of being stuck in a crate. Anway, if there are other people around, I hardly notice that my two legs are gone. I know this bothers them, especially puppaw. He wants me to miss him terribly, and I do, I do, but I have to pretent that if he leaves me too many times, I might just forget him. So far, this strategy has worked, as I've only been left once. I had a great time...don't tell my puppaw.
There was white rain falling from the sky last night. I wore my new barbour coat. Puppaw had it fixed for me. Boy did I look good! And it kept the wet white rain off of me, but I still got to enjoy it.
All of the visitors have left now. Abu has gone back to Spain and I have no hope of getting another one of those yummy meatballs in my mouth anytime soon. She says it is sad that my two legs don't give me yummy things to eat like they do in Spain to my other cousin Maisy.  My mum gives me horrible things when she is cooking. She must be a horrible cook. She gives me celery and tomatoes. The tomatoes are fun because they are like a tiny little ball to play with, but when I bite in too hard, yuck. I don't understand how there can be such yummy smells coming from the kitchen and only horrible things to eat. Oh, and I still don't know what gravy is. But if you are getting some, it must be good.
I am Ceasar destroyer of all things soft and cuddly, but sometimes I feel just like Cinderella.
Lots of licks lucky cousin from "Ceasear I only have two toys left to destroy so please send more."