Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tricky Dog (Confidential)

Dear Cousin Poppy,
I think my Cinderella strategy is working. You must keep this strictly confidential, as I believe that all of the two legs who know me think I am much too adorable to be calculating. We must keep this ruse going. I am close to total success…am getting offers of new beds, new toys, new homes from around the world. Pretty soon, I will be able to retire…even before I start to bring home the bacon. Granny, Grandpaw and Auntie Joanna all believe that I am being mistreated…not like you. I don’t think anyone believes the horrible things you are saying are being done too you. Really, Poppy, you need to tone it down a bit. Who is going to believe that Auntie Joanna takes your food away? Anyway, Granny and Grandpaw will soon be sending me my own bed, which will come in perfectly, because from my calculations, Mummy will fit in it perfectly and Puppaw and I will finally have the bed to ourselves.
The truth is, I stretch out to get as big as I can when mummy and puppaw are nearby so they think that I need a new bed, but when I am pretending to be a doughnut, I fit in the bed just fine. I was so happy that you made the observation that there were no toys in my bed. I hope this gets me some care packages. The truth is they are all in a metal box that puppaw found in the closet (I ate the yummy basket they tried to use for this purpose.) The metal box works just fine. When I would like an extra yummy treat, I even put my toys BACK in the box. Mummy and Puppaw think this is just wonderful and I get extra love for it.
Granny thinks Puppaw is horrible and will have me out on the street with a tin can collecting pennies soon if I don’t replace the stupid plate. I haven’t touched the tea towel in days and still, I just can’t live it down. Someday, maybe they will forget.
In any event, I must run off because the forecast is calling for a lot of snow and mummy will be coming home early. I can’t wait!
Lots and lots of licks.

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